Here's the story of my path to faith...
History
Born during WWII with my father serving in the Navy in the South Pacific, my first years were in Central and Southern California. We moved to Dallas, Texas when I was six and there we stayed. My father worked as an insurance agent until his retirement. Mother worked in electronics assembly. After graduation from High School I attended and graduated with a degree in Mathematics from University of Texas, Arlington. Upon getting my degree I got married and joined . Unfortunately, my career with lasted much longer than my marriage. After 38 years I decided to retire from . Retirement lasted about six weeks when I joined an IBM business partner where I stayed for about a year. As of this update, I am retired again.
Family
My Grandfather Max was born in New York City in 1898 following the migration of his family from Russia. They then moved to Golden Colorado when my Grandparents met and married. Ella was a Gentile and this did not make either of their parents happy. But when both grandparents became Christian, they were summarily excluded from the Levine’s. My father was raised in a Christian home. In fact, both my grandparents were Pentecostal ministers with the Foursquare Gospel Church and ministered throughout the South and West. Two sisters followed the birth of my father, both of which married ministers who were active in a variety of ministries, including Youth for Christ and Full Gospel Business Men International. One uncle also worked with World Missions where they adopted two Korean orphans.
My mothers parents were from Texas, where she was also born. She was a twin, but her sister died right after birth. George Fort was my grandfather and worked as an accountant for an oil company in the booming East Texas oilfields during the “oil rush” days of the twenties and thirties. He met an early death from Pneumonia contracted from smoke inhalation when reentering his burning home to salvage some family treasures. My grandmother Elsie eventually moved to a small desert town in California called Trona. It was on the Mojave desert in a company town mining a variety of minerals from a dry lake, including the original Twenty Mule Team brand.
My mother and father met in Trona, were married and dad immediately shipped out to the South Pacific, while leaving behind a pregnant wife. My birth came while dad was overseas and he did not see us until I was about fifteen months old. Though they tried to have other children, I ended up being an only child.
Committing to Christ
Raised in a Christian home, I was always in church. We attended the Dallas Foursquare Church where we were very active throughout the years. I came to Christ when I was twelve at a revival in Grand Prairie, Texas. A lifelong friend of my mother’s, Artie Jones, was the evangelist and I was drawn to step out into the aisle to accept Christ. My baptism was in the small original church during the winter. I remember how cold I was after the immersion in the baptistery running in the back hall of the clapboard church building.
My religious training was mostly from Church. I did not get very much spiritual direction at home, however. I was active in the youth group and became a leader during my high school days. I had a strong religious bent, but grew up with an inferiority about my Pentecostal heritage. I was a timid witness at best. I did not understand at that time how fear was a bondage that ruled me most of my life. Even today, I don’t quite understand why this so controlled me though a Christian. It was not until the past few years that I know that God brought a change in me with a release from the bondage. I recognize the fear memory is still there but by God’s daily grace it does not have the same control.
Covenant Marriage
I admit, today, that I had no clue of what a covenant marriage was about. Though my marriage lasted 26 years, it was not a happy marriage as far as husband and wife were concerned. We did bring five beautiful and delightful children into the world, but we divorced before they were all grown. Looking back, as bad as I felt things were then, if I had understood the covenant of marriage I might have made a better effort to reconcile. But I was beginning to exhibit more frequently the behaviors discussed later.
God hates divorce. He says so in His Word. It is destructive to all the family. It has long standing consequences to ourselves and our children.
God is also the God of second chances. I met and married a marvelous lady I met at Church. In fact, she was teaching the Sunday School class I started attending. She was teaching divorce recovery to single adults.
This was when the wheels finally came off my life. The years following our marriage were a nightmare for both of us. That fear that haunted me became a crushing burden that I buckled and fell under. I could not keep my emotional head above water long enough for anyone to help me. I was a basket case of depression, anger and fear. My response to fear was never fight, but flight. After numerous flights from home, it was only Evelyn’s constancy to her commitment to our covenant marriage that allowed our marriage to survive.
"A Journey Out" is an expression of my mental and emotional turmoil that only God could heal. Similar expression is made by the Psalmist in Psalms 116:1-19
Today, God has not only healed my emotions, but He has taught me commitment in marriage. It has not been an easy change. I struggled through some tough testing to grow in this area. It is my prayer that this web site causes others to stop and consider their commitment to marriage. Marriage by “feelings” is not the reality of marriage. Feelings change dramatically throughout marriage life. God is a God of commitment amongst all His many attributes. For me, God is the only source of power for me to change and commit. I am committed to Evelyn no matter what. I am grateful that God gave her to me and that we are beginning to experience a healthy relationship.
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